The "C" Word - Cancer

My last post I was planning the future. With only one question, where to live next? It's funny how the world moves on while you're just sitting there planning. I really don't want to go into full detail about what's going on, but I do feel it's something I need to blog about. Ever since I've started blogging I've received so much support from perfectly good strangers who have become really good friends. If someone were to ask me 'What is one thing you've gotten out of blogging that you never expected?' my answer, hands down would be meeting the most amazing people. The love and support in this community is overwhelming. Whether it be a short comment or a long e-mail it makes my day.

I wrote previously about bubs having surgery last month. That was the main reason why I've been MIA lately. They removed a tumor and said we wouldn't know more until the pathology report came back. They sent it all the way to DC so it took forever get the results. We have learned that the tumor was malignant and now we're starting the process of getting him into oncology to find out how much was left in him the doctor wasn't able to get everything out and if it has spread. 

Honestly, words can't even begin to express how I am feeling. I keep telling myself I need to be strong for the both of us. I'm petrified. Disgusted that I'm even thinking about myself right now. All of my thoughts should be with him, for him. My mind has gone into battle mode, something that I started when I was a little kid. I worry about everyone else excluding myself. Bubs keeps asking me how I'm doing and I look at him with a blank stare because honestly, I don't even want to feel anything.

After my normal freak outs during the day, I start to "think positive" but let's be real there is no positive thoughts when it comes to cancer. You can't just say well it could be worse because to me, cancer is cancer. I just want to rewind life. Go back to a time where we were both healthy, happy and loved life. 

Now all I feel like doing is laying in bed with bubs and not leaving. That's normal, right?

It's that time again.

Bubs & I have been talking a lot recently about where we want to go after living here, in Alaska. Bubs is from Arizona, born & raised. I am from Seattle. With that being said we are both dying for a place that has sunshine for more than 3 months out of the year without it having to be a 24 hour event. I don't want to spend the rest of the year waiting impatiently for the sun to come. I really can't wait for the day when we both can say good riddance to Fairbanks, because honestly this place is cramping our style. With hubs re-enlisting we have a ton of things to talk about. One though, is if we decide to choose where we want to go next where should we go? We keep bouncing ideas off of each other but we are really going into this decision blind. 

Because we'll be living out of our car if we don't figure this out.

In my mind living in paradise would be amazing, that's why we've put Hawaii on our list. Bubs is now talking about it but he does have some concerns about living on a rock. I get that. I also get the cons that it isn't always paradise, it's extremely expensive, there's bugs everywhere, possible natural disasters. The list goes on. 


We've also thought of going to Colorado. We'd be close to family & it would be a change of scenery. We've heard a lot about being stationed there so we have some knowledge about what it's like there. We've laid out the pros and cons. 


California has been in the mix too. We'd be close to family and it's a couple hours drive to places where there are things to do. We also know that it's a drive to get to the nearest town with stores that are lacking and it's in the middle of nowhere, USA. 


Lastly, we go back to Washington. We know what we are getting ourselves into. My family is there and bubs has been stationed there. No going in blind. Safe. 


After tossing around a bunch of pros and cons we still haven't come to a conclusion. This can all change if he decides to go another route where we wouldn't be able to decide where we'd be going next.  But with all of these decisions I figured I put it out there to get some feedback from people who have lived it. Know exactly what these places are about and your pros/cons. Good old fashioned first person input. What is your favorite duty station? Have you been or are you at the places listed above? Because we need help!

New month

New start. Promise. I think last month was a total bust!  From setting up everything for bubs surgery to handling my own health issues while trying to survive the thing called life, I pretty much curled up in a ball whenever I had the chance to. I've been a very bad bloggy friend too. I've been reading blogs & not commenting.  But I promise, I'm back in action. 

So it turns out I will be in Alaska for longer than anticipated. Of course timelines are always taken lightly when dealing with the Army right? I have half of my house packed and don't plan on unpacking for the short time I'll be around here. But I am excited to spend more time with bubs & enjoy the Alaskan summer because seriously, it's amazing here! Minus the mosquitoes and if you follow my on twitter you have realized my extreme hate for those dang things. 

We are heading down to Anchorage this week and I couldn't be more thrilled! I mean- Red Robin, Forever 21, Nordys & Arbys? That is paradise for someone who doesn't get that unless you take a plane or drive for hours. 

And of course I'm going to end this post with some pictures! 

Bubs still can't believe my body reacts like this to mosquito bites, gross I know.  

One of the best sunsets I've seen in a while. I love it when pink colors the clouds.

It came & went pretty quick but it was awesome while it lasted.  

 I promise this is a rainbow! 

I had to mess with it on instagram so you could actually see it. 

But this was taken at midnight! 

I've never seen this until I moved to Alaska.

Does anyone else get midnight rainbows? 

One of the things that I missed was gyros. 

There's a place located at Pike Place called Mr. D's Greek Delicacies. 

Seriously, amazing! 

When I came back from my last visit home I wanted one so bad we found a pizza place that made them.

Bad choice! It was absolutely disgusting. So I decided to make my own. 

This turned out bomb.com! Best recipe ever.

Not to mention bubs ate 3 of them! 

I also finally discovered greek yogurt. Yep, I live under a rock. 

If you live under a rock too, I highly suggest you try it!